July 12, 2013

Dear Weary Mom, {whose children aren't getting along}

Dear Sweet Weary Mom, 
Do you know how often I think about you...standing at your kitchen counter or carrying a basket load full of clothes, not sorted, to the laundry room. Your young ones race past you, grabbing your legs with one hand, yet trying like crazy to chase hard after the one who just offended them. Another retaliation waiting around the corner.

I  know those days, those very long days when no one is getting along. The kids just cannot seem to find any common ground...or worse, they're searching for the uneven ground that is the foundation for all bickering, fighting, teasing and mayhem.

Oh, it's exhausting. Torturous on a mama's heart and mind. I know. 

You stop. And you wonder how on earth you'll make it to the end of THIS day. (you will make it through this day weary one.)

But in this very moment, what is the fix? Where is the silver lining? There are no words for how frustrated and broken, and dare I say, hopeless, you feel over the constant battles of children who cannot seem to get along. YOUR kids... who seemingly search for the low road. Every. Time.

I know because I experience these battles, daily. 

I watch my boys offend one another on every level and see their mama, brow furrowed, face in hands with her already-warmed-four-times cup of now cold coffee sitting next to her. And all I feel is defeat in that moment. 

We can't make them change. All we want is for the fighting to stop...there's and ours. We want a quick fix. A magic wand to wave above us and Peace to reign in my homes.

Is that what you want too? Peace to reign in your home? 

Well then, a magical fairy-landish sort of band-aid would only serve to rearrange bad behavior and skip the heart matters all together.

So, Mama, in this present moment...what are we to do when our hearts are pounding and
thoughts are swirling at top speed? We're anxious and beginning to lean hard into ourselves...carrying on that one way conversation with the one who is the wrong One. We are talking to ourselves, trying to find answers that are not there.
So, what do we do? We do the next right thing. We get down on our knees, wherever we're at, even in front of our children....and we pray. We pray a simple yet bold prayer of courageous Asking, Seeking and Knocking...that kind of pray.
We ask God to increase our faith in this present moment. We pour out our brokenness and ask for forgiveness of unbelief, pride and worry over what feels like a hopeless battle of constant sibling rivalry, disobedience and disrespect. And we ask God to help us remember that if our children COULD do things the right way every time or even more often, they would.

So would we.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. -Romans 7:21-25

And then with the kind of confidence that can be felt by a mama who just prayed a bold and brave sort of prayer....we stand on His promises and we expect great things. We cling to His grace and rest in Hope. Because He can change our children. He can change us too. And when He does, it's for His glory and His eternal purposes.  
Jesus isn't in the business of rearranging our hearts. He's much too gracious and Loving for that. What He does is lasting and beautiful and deep and real...healing, redeeming and refining those deep places.
Remember weary mama, even though we want all the fighting and bickering to stop this minute, and our heads to stop spinning and our hearts to stop hurting...what's more important is that we admit our need for Jesus every single day, every single moment, and seek Him on their behalf and on ours for HIS intervention and Love...the kind that covers all sins. Theirs and ours. 

With love, 

Linking up with the beautiful community of moms over at Hope for the Weary Mom. 


  1. This has been my morning! Thank you for allowing God to use you. You have spoken to me and for me today.

  2. I think you must've been in my house for the past 6 months...things between my 9 y.o dtr and 13 y.o son seem to be escalating...thank you so much for these words of encouragement and peace.

  3. Oh this post meant so much to me. This is exactly my battle right now. Thank you for this post, and especially these words: "And we ask God to help us remember that if our children COULD do things the right way every time or even more often, they would. So would we."

  4. This has been our home lately, and I'm in need of all you're describing here. Thanking God for directing me here, for a good reminder of all that He is trying to tell me.


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